The secret meaning of the marketing speak

Have you noticed how often Google ads contain the word "secret." That's also true when it comes to ads dealing with e-mini trading systems or strategies. Yes, apparently there are some secret things out there. Well, that may be true. It's conceivable, I would say. Sort of. Except that these secret things are very unlikely to have anything to do with the markets, but a lot to do with marketing.

Namely, the truly secret things are those that marketers don't want you to know about. Below we examine a few actual Google ads related to e-mini futures trading to explain the secret meaning of some things mentioned in these ads.

1. "This select group of people."

What is so select about this group of people is that they are mind bogglingly stupid morons who paid $7,500 to find out what's so select about them.

2. "20 year veteran trader."

To put it simply, that's someone who has been so badly disabled that he has yet to place his first trade ever despite attempting to do so for the past 20 years. So he is a veteran alright. He just ain't no trader.

3. "No indicators."

In this particular case, that means zero equals two. In general, according to the secret marketing math, zero can take any value from one to infinity. But it's never zero.

4. "The last trading system you will buy."

Indeed. Because right afterwards you will go so broke using it that you won't be able to buy a new pair of socks, let alone another trading system.

5. "$500 a day."

Yet the website says, in fine print, of course, that your results can vary, which can mean only one thing. Namely, that 500 can actually vary too! Just when you thought you knew something about this math thing, it turns out that it wasn't so at all.

The examination of such secrets is likely to continue here, so you may want to check this page in future.